


And they say dreaming is free (But I wouldn’t care what it cost me)

by TheCatDemonofInk



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, no beta we die like ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 13:42:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20193217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCatDemonofInk/pseuds/TheCatDemonofInk
Summary: The Seance, the Horror and the Boy walk into a movie theatre.Sounds like the start of a joke.Set after they've fixed everything





	And they say dreaming is free (But I wouldn’t care what it cost me)

“You know what we never do? Bonding activities!” Klaus says, dangling halfway off the couch, fluffy hair nearly brushing the floor. Ben pats him absentmindedly, and attempts to rearrange himself and his book.

“That’s because we have no reference for normal family activities, Klaus.” Ben rests the back of his book on Klaus’ leg. If Klaus is going to sprawl his legs over his lap, Ben damn well has the right to use Klaus’ leg as a bookrest. Klaus doesn’t seem to mind either way.

“Do you think we should go for therapy?” Klaus muses. Five is flickering around somewhere behind them, but doesn’t seem to be paying them any attention. Ben really wonders whether anyone would think badly if they saw an apparently thirteen-year-old drinking margaritas. Probably. Then again, Klaus was wearing a huge bright purple feather boa and tight lace up pants and people thought badly of him already. And Diego wore a black turtleneck and carried knives around.

“We could spend Dearest Daddy’s money on it. But we’ll traumatise the therapist so there’s that. Wooh! Don’t you love being trained to kill from a young age _ when you can see the dead people you just killed _?”

Klaus had a harsh laugh at the end, and Ben strokes his leg soothingly. Ben still had nightmares about the monsters piercing through soft flesh and blood. He couldn’t imagine dealing with them in the day as well.

They were going to do better. Ben was alive and everything… well it might not be okay but they were working towards it.

“So bonding activities huh? When I was in rehab, there was this man who wouldn’t stop going on about how his girlfriend brought him to the movies and poisoned him there. His ex? I mean she did kill him. Does he count as a widow? Widower? But he’s not the one left behind; he’s the one who died…”

Klaus was swaying back and forth rhythmically. Ben casually lifts the edges of his skirt and feather boa onto his lap so they didn’t brush the floor too much. Klaus would be sad if they got caught on something and tore. He was fond of that feather boa.

“There’s a new horror movie coming out. Something about a haunted house?” Ben suggests, leaning back against the sofa to brace himself. Klaus swings himself upright, humming in curiosity, bright yellow tank top, a stark contrast against the dark couch.

“Can’t be worse than our lives.” He snorts.

“Five, you want to come?” Ben calls out as an irritated Five smacks the coffee pot behind them. Five teleports in front of the sofa to grab a pen from the table, and then back again.

“If that’s what it takes for me to get some goddamn decent fucking coffee, yeah.”

Klaus spreads his hands, beaming at Five and attempting to hug him. Five’s disdain is being broadcast so loudly as he teleports away that Ben’s surprised the whole neighbourhood can’t hear it.

Ben shoves Klaus’ legs off him and Klaus rolls off, standing up to grab his wallet.

What a relief. Klaus using money on movie tickets instead of drugs. Klaus as an _ artist _ earning an actual salary through actual, serious legal means. Ben will never stop being amazed at the changes wrought by _ actually taking care of each other_.

* * *

By the time Ben, Klaus and Five get Five’s coffee, popcorn and the movie tickets in that order, the movie is about to start. The theatre darkens and the smell of stale popcorn is seeping from the theatre seats. Ben sits down gingerly as Five just straight teleports to his seat.

Ben briefly wonders what the people around them think of them. Klaus has commented that the all black look does look good on him, and despite Allison’s cajoling that he’s no longer dead, he can get a brighter wardrobe, Ben _ likes _ his hoodie. Meanwhile, Klaus himself is still dressed in bright purple and yellow with a leather skirt which Ben swears belonged to Allison at some point. Five’s still dressed in a blazer and looks thirteen.

“Guys, look, it’s the Academy.” Klaus whispers at Ben, as the movie starts to play. Ben snorts. The haunted house does look like their home. If slightly less posh. And slightly more fake. 

The first jumpscare happens and there’s shrieking in the theatre and people hiding their eyes. Meanwhile, Five just looks unimpressed.

“Oh come on, there’s more blood than that if your throat gets torn out!”

“That’s not even what people whose throats have actually been torn out look like.”

Ben begins to wonder if bringing Five ‘Time Travelling Assassin’ Hargreeves and Klaus ‘I See Dead People’ Hargreeves to a horror movie was such a great idea.

“That’s not what a person getting stabbed sounds like!”

…yeah, maybe it wasn’t.

The comments continue throughout the film as Klaus and Five mock the special effects and gratuitous gore. There’s a part where the protagonist and his friends are supposed to be running through a graveyard with malicious ghosts appearing that makes Klaus outright laugh.

“Please, the ghost hasn’t even started throwing its decapitated head at you. That blood spatter doesn’t even look realistic. That’s not what someone getting speared through the stomach looks like! They’re not even yelling your name yet, just ignore the groaning!”

Ben has to laugh at that last comment because, yeah seriously, he would know. That’s what tips Ben over the edge and makes him start joining into Klaus and Five’s running commentary on all the inaccuracies of the film. Klaus’s feather boa smacks into his arm as Ben leans over to comment on the piano playing of an alleged ghost and Klaus makes a gesture at the screen.

Soon, the movie ends and the trailers play. They’re still complaining about the movie when it ends. Klaus swings his jacket onto his shoulders, tossing the end of his boa that had come undone over a shoulder carelessly as he sputters about the depiction of _are those supposed to be scary ghosts? Is that supposed to be a graveyard?_ Five’s blazer is on his arm as he nearly smacks into a very scared passerby with his coffee cup as he responds to Klaus with angrily comments on ‘ghosts shooting’ scene.

The people around them are giving them a very wide berth and Ben’s hands are tucked in his hoodie as he watches a lady who he was pretty sure was sitting two rows in front of them cross the street to avoid Klaus and Five.

Overall, Ben would rule this outing a success. Family bonding for the win.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 26 by Paramore
> 
> (Actually Fake Happy is a great album for the umbrella fam go check it out)
> 
> I like the headcanon that Klaus became an artist to cope with the ghosts, and then at some point, he started selling his drawings and sketches of people on the street. Ben is highly supportive and also a little shit that makes weird ass poses when Klaus asks him to be his model.
> 
> Also please appreciate the mental image of Ben, Klaus and Five sitting in a theatre and it's the brightly coloured one and the thirteen year old making the concerning comments as if they know what it ACTUALLY looks like and the goth one just quietly watching the movie.
> 
> (Klaus is in enby colours :>)


End file.
